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John's HOT NLP Tips November 2018 Issue
Almost 20 Years on the Internet Without a Single Miss!

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1. TRAITS & CHARACTERISTICS OF SUCCESSFUL CONSULTANTS - John La Valle
2. SO HOW'S YOUR WEEK BEEN? - Kay Cooke
3. THIS THING CALLED "WRITER'S BLOCK" - John G. Johnson
4. WHERE CAN I FIND WHAT ELSE IS HAPPENING?
5. SO, WHAT'S COMING UP?

TRAITS & CHARACTERISTICS OF SUCCESSFUL CONSULTANTS

John La Valle

Having just completed another training in London with Dr. Richard Bandler and Kathleen La Valle, I thought it a good idea to answer one of the questions that I was asked, again and again, by enough people to make it worthwhile to put here.

The question I've been asked is, "What makes a successful consultant?" Well, I've taken this question and expanded it sideways to include "trainer, teacher, manager, etc." and expanded it upwards to include "entrepreneur, etc." because to me, whatever it is you're doing professionally, it helps to put yourself in the position, or role, of "consultant" at certain times, places and other contexts.

Based on my experience with many different people across many different professions, the ones that are the most successful have or do the following things:

  • They are driven - not just ambitious - driven by their passions, their abilities, their purpose. They know themselves so well that they do not need to explain themselves to others. Their behavior "says" it all.
  • They are infectious - their above permeates a room, permeates all they meet, their environment. Some will call this charisma, others energy. Whatever you call it, know what it is because you have not only experienced it, but you have it.
  • They are passionate about whatever it is they do, truly passionate. Even when they have the opportunity to "sell" something, they don't have to because their passion spills over onto the people listening and/or in their presence. And most people want to have success.
  • They know the following that I have been saying for years and years - "No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something". They know what they are good at, and they have built on that. They know what they are not good at and pass it up, or pass it along to someone else, when those opportunities come by. They know their niche and have developed their own "expertise" of it.
  • They are not afraid of hard work - as a matter of fact, it's not that they are not afraid of it, they don't equate it with their passion - to them it's not work, it's their life; it's what they love doing. For years I've told people: "Do what you love and you'll never work another day in your life." And at the same time, working 24/7 is part of it for them. This does not mean that they don't make time away from their "career", but there is always that one small wheel clicking away in the back of their mind that keeps them on track.
  • They know that making mistakes is part of making decisions. They don't expect perfection, but they do expect optimization. At the same time, they also have high expectations for themselves, and for others, but they understand how to balance all these towards success.
  • They know how to say "I don't know" with confidence.
  • They are continuously learning - not just from seminars, books, tapes, etc., but from the experiences they are having. They are acute observers of their environment and can calibrate interventions well and the results of those interventions, whether theirs or someone else's, regardless of how subtle.
  • They have solid morals and values and their behavior is consistent. They do not waiver. They may change their minds, but only after very careful consideration of new information.
  • They keep things simple - their communication, their strategies, everything possible is kept simple, but not at the expense of wasting resources, more appropriately, they keep things precise.
  • They are honest and they understand dishonesty and are prepared for it. They have a healthy skepticism of the business environment in which they are operating and have the strategies to evaluate opportunities.

How many of the above do you honestly have and/or do? Happy Consulting, or whatever it is you do.

©2018 La Valle, all rights reserved in all media


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Here's an interesting article on Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Reframing and politics by one of Richard Bandler's ol' friends.

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So How's Your Week Been?

by Kay Cooke

"So how's your week been?" I asked the parents of a teenager I'm also coaching.

"Good thanks … so what have we struggled with … oh yes …" and 7.5 minutes later they had reeled off a dozen concerns, struggles, judgments and comments about what they didn't like about their son and his behaviours that week. Yes I timed it.

Their (joint) first brain filter was to take an innocuous question 'how's your week been' and search for what they had not liked about their son (he is …); his behaviours (he did …) and the assumptions/generalisations they had made about his intentions (he always …).

"OK" I said "Let's explore a balance pattern.
Now talk to me for 7.5 minutes about what you have liked about your son, experiences you have enjoyed with him and pleasures you have shared, during the past week."

They struggled. I waited. They searched. I waited. They found. I listened. I anchored.
They understood.

It's not that the good times hadn't happened; only they seemed rather surprised to discover that they had.

Facilitating a neurological experience is the great power behind NLP.
We don't need to tell, teach or preach, only question, calibrate and guide insights.
Then we connect the insights to skills (pause, breathe, feel good first) and original focus (the family coaching aim of 'harmony') and future pace (just imagine when the harmony is stronger …)

Meta reflection from the father "I can see how this pattern has been affecting me and my team at work"

Personal reflection from the mother "I was shaken, I didn't realize, I'm already thinking and feeling differently"

NLP Milton Model teaches us to utilise everything - in this case an ambiguous question turned into a family/business-changing gift.

And the son is beginning to take off his tin hat.

©2018 Kay Cooke


Kay Cooke is a Licensed Trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming® based in the north of England. She works internationally to facilitate learning, develop creativity, and teach flexible thinking, adaptability and resilience in education, business and health.

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Check This Out:

The Best You

Filled with advice on getting things done, confidence, self esteem, motivation, focus, feeling and looking great and doing whatever it takes to help you improve your life, The Best You is an antidote to bad news and feeling stuck in life.

What's more, this is far more than a magazine. Contains video interviews with celebrities and big names, who share their advice, their experience and their observations on life. Just click through to watch the interviews - which gave yet more advice and tips.

In all, The Best You is a smart, multimedia experience that will inspire, inform and entertain all at once - and guide you to become

The Best You



This Thing Called "Writer's Block"
by John G. Johnson


Teams of people tirelessly work behind the camera to breathe life into the TV shows we are addicted to each week. Or binge watch when the opportunity presents itself. Let's face it. If you own a laptop or TV then you have a favorite TV show. Perhaps several. (What's one of mine? The Walking Dead). A skilled staff-writing unit makes up a part of this production team. Their job is to generate premises and break them into story beats. Then a member of this coveted staff writing team transforms all that information into a competent script ready to be filmed. Oftentimes he/she has less than a week to write the episode that hooks and hold us.

Most do an exceptional job. However, if a writer dares to complain to the show-runner that "writer's block" is preventing them from handling the job, the solution is simple: Writer is replaced or fired, and the task handed to the next writer in line. TV is a voracious animal. Consuming content is how it survives. It spares not the meek or whiny, whether in front of the camera, or behind it. It's nothing personal. Just business.

But guess what? TV writers claiming to be in the throes of "writer's block" rarely occur. The smart writers inoculate themselves against it; and if it (writer's block) arises they have strategies to handle it. This then begs the question, "What are some of these strategies they utilize?"

Most important is the proper frame of mind. World-class writers possess the attitude, gained through experience, that their first draft is insufficient, and that their best is yet to come. This helps to keep their mind in top form. Flexibility, focus and confidence are other states of mind writers take advantage of when writing. These states allow surprises and discoveries, submerged within a writer's rich, deep, creative reservoir, to float to consciousness' surface and reveal themselves.

Keen writers are also well aware that the act of writing is an output activity. This presupposes an input as well as a processing sequence exists before any official writing takes place. What subject matter is the writer writing about? What does he/she wish to accomplish with the piece? Etc. Having a direction in mind is part of the input and processing phase. It dictates what type of content the writer chooses to absorb, study, the information he/she gathers in order to explore, read, analyze etc. Law & Order: SVU, (their tagline: "ripped from the headlines!") the longest running dramatic TV series to date - 20 years strong -, is a perfect example of gathering information - first - then working with it to produce a "work of art- that riveting episode." Writers' get themselves into trouble when they violate this sequence.

The universe as it's constructed can give us a surprise, or two, once in a while. For a writer, those surprises are sometimes disguised as writer's block. When things seem to be going well, the writing is flowing, etc. writer's block can mysteriously creep into ones creative mind space, setting up residence, sometimes acting like a mind virus, weakening, if not crippling our progress. Things happen. It during these challenging times we are given the opportunity to learn and to grow.

Definitions vary as to what writer's block is. In a nutshell, it is a tense conflict between the writing task we wish to complete versus the excuses we tell and/or show ourselves why that can't happen. These excuses are just symptoms expressing itself in creative ways. For example, giving yourself so-called 'valid' reasons why your task must be put on hold; procrastinating, avoiding the writing assignment by ranking other activities as more important to do; allowing nasty internal dialogue or images to consume your focus that triggers a cascade of physiological responses, (sweaty palms, nervousness, etc.). The examples are limitless...

So then what is writer's block from an NLP perspective? Hint...It's in the title. It's a nominalization, a fluid process that somehow has been transformed into a thing, immovable, stuck...a metaphorical "block" impeding progress. Looking from it from this angle then what needs to happen is to transform this static state back into a process, something moving. And that's where the fun and adventure begin.

Strategies to either eliminate, get through, above, below and/or around writer's block exist. Here are some more:-Get into a relaxed state and ask yourself, using a curious voice tone, "What is blocking me?" It's important to use the gerund "blockING!' It turns the noun back into a process verb. Also notice the present tense of the verb being used - IS.

Pay close attention to what emerges into consciousness via one or several of your modalities (visual, auditory, kinesthetic, gustatory). What you become aware of, revealed to you, is the issue, or issues begging to be taken care of so that you can return to the flow writing state.

A variation of the above is as follows: Get into a relaxed state and ask yourself, using a curious voice tone, "What 'was' blocking me?" Just as above, it's important to use the gerund "blockING! This time the past-tense "WAS" is being used. This variation presupposes that the issue is now in the past. Sometimes that might solve the problem. Oftentimes not, what this variation does do is to put space between you and the issue, giving you another point of view in which to address it. (As the expression goes...Give me some space to xyz...). Again, notice what surfaces in one or several of your modalities.

Writing is a whole-brain process, meaning the creative as well as the analytical parts need to work together...in the proper sequence. Suppress the need to edit your work when completing your first draft. Just write! Errors and all! Put words on the page! When you enter the editing phase, that's when the critical mind is needed. Not before. You need something to work with...

Another advantage of putting words on the page - first - is that you give yourself the opportunity to unpack and reveal the deeper meanings hidden within the words, phrases, sentences, paragraphs, etc. Take for example a simple sentence; "I watched TV last night!":...:

What kind of TV is it? How big/small? Flat-screen, or a box TV? Color or black & white?
Where were you last night?
What was the temperature like?
Were you alone?
Define "watched?"
Etc...

TV sit-com writer, Ellen Sandler, once said, "Writing is discovery on the page!" this requires that you are in-the - moment, the here and now. You need to put something on the page for this to occur. If writing begins by information input then - reading - is a great habit to get into. Books, (blog, e-book, etc.), aren't the only sources of information. There is also the environment in which you live, the people whom you interact with, places you visit, activities you partake in, the moments you experience, and so much more. There's also the world - within - you that you can read. As the NLP tenet states, "We have all the resource to affect change". Get to know who you are, your strengths, weakness, hopes dreams, pleasures, fears, angst, memories, desires etc. It's about utilizing opportunities to spur creativity and also to get ahead of writer's block.

So - "What did you think had stopped you from moving forward, or casting aside, what you had thought was writers block?"

©2018 John G. Johnson


John Johnson is a Licensed Trainer of NLP™ who currently does one on one coaching and also works with Martial Arts schools for their business success! He also assists us in Orlando sometimes.
Check out his site NLP Success by Design today! He can assist and teach you in the most incredible ways!

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The next program for Licensed NLP Coaching Trainer™ announced!

Congratulations to our most recent 2018 class in London and the full list is at http://www.nlpcoach.com/:

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Also: Happiness Magazine


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Regards,
John La Valle

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©2018 La Valle, all rights reserved in all media

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