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John's HOT NLP Tips April 2019 Issue
More than 20 Years on the Internet Without a Single Miss!

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John La Valle

ONE OF OUR READERS had emailed me asking me about detecting, identifying, & working with "submodalities" and whether you have to go meta, or to another perceptual position to do this. While I could easily have answered him, I thought it a good topic for this month. That, and adding its use in sales & marketing, would give us lots of things to cover.

FOR THOSE READERS who may be unfamiliar with "submodalities", here's a brief explanation:

OUR BRAINS INPUT, process and output based on our five senses, or modalities: see, hear, feel (both emotional and visceral), smell and taste. Each of the modalities has other parts, hence "sub". For example, visual includes: is it in color or black & white?; is it a movie or a still shot?, etc. Auditory include: the volume; tone, pitch, etc.

NOW, FOR THOSE OF OUR READERS who are wondering about what *meta* (going to another perceptual position), is, think about it this way: One major position is known as associated, that is *in the experience*, while the other is known as dissociated, or being able to see/hear yourself from the outside looking in, so to speak. And then there are arguably some other positions, known as third, etc., which are not that important for us here because they, again, are
sub-positions of the ones just mentioned.

ONE OF THE MORE INTERESTING points here, although not overtly obvious is the distinction between *experiencing* and *intellectualizing*. I have looked at 2 sources for the following definitions at and in Webster's New World Dictionary:

1. To furnish a rational structure or meaning for.
2. To avoid psychological insight into (an emotional problem) by performing an intellectual analysis.

(Webster's New World Dictionary):
1. To examine or interpret rationally, often without regard to emotional considerations.

1. The apprehension of an object, a thought, or an emotion through the senses or mind: a child's first experience of snow
2. (a.) Active participation in events or activities, leading to the accumulation of knowledge or skill: a lesson taught by experience; a carpenter with experience in wall and roof repair; (b.)The knowledge or skill so derived.
3. (a.) An event or a series of events participated in or lived through; (b.)The totality of such events in the past of an individual or a group.

(Webster's New World Dictionary):
1. The act of living through an event.
2. Anything or everything observed or lived through.

SO, TO ANSWER THE QUESTION ABOVE, in many cases, it's *sometimes* necessary to go to a meta-position to detect, identify and work with submodalities, but this is highly dependent on your skill level at detecting, identifying and working with. It is not always necessary to go to another position to do any of the three, but that's not what's best for this discussion here because there's more to it that's more useful for our application.

WHAT IS IMPORTANT HERE IS how you can use these perceptual positions (states) in your sales and marketing. I've seen so many articles about how important the words are, but most of these articles only scratch the surface, so to speak. When you are selling and/marketing your products and/or services, one of the most important things is to have your customer, or potential customer, *feel* especially good (that's the emotional part) about you and/or your product.

SINCE IN MOST CASES (not all), the most powerful feelings occur in the *associated* state, then it is important and more useful to give them an experience, rather than to have them *think about* an experience. When you have your customers *think about* an experience, they will mostly be dissociated, which is not where you want them while
*experiencing* you and/or what you are selling or marketing.

NOW, IF YOU GO ON AND ON, and *explain* the experience to them, much like I'm doing here, they will not necessarily have the feelings you want them to have. It's much akin to the difference between thinking about racing downhill at 80 miles per hour and racing downhill at 80 miles per hour. And the only difference, really, is the one of *perspective* -- the one you provide.

ANOTHER DISTINCTION TO MAKE IS the one about which referential index to use -- I or you. Well, while this is also important, remember that "all communication is hypnosis" and the real issue is whether or not your readers will take that ride with you, even if it's yours. Can you get them excited enough using some I's and me's and some you's? That's what's going to make the difference. Using too many I's and we's will seem self serving, and too many you's may violate their rules against mind reading or patronizing.

WHEN I FIRST DECIDED TO PUBLISH this newsletter it was because I had so many people emailing me with the same types of questions and I found myself writing back and giving the same types of responses. And so I thought, "Hey, why not publish a newsletter? That way I can answer questions out there, and even get information out to many of the people who may not ask the questions, even though they have them. That would serve a few other purposes, then, wouldn't it?"

MY FIRST NEWSLETTER WAS, WELL intimidating to start with. Would they like it? Would they criticize it? Would they read it? How would I know if they like it? What if I say the wrong thing? And so many other ridiculous questions that just kept popping up. But then I thought, "Hey, what's the difference?" I mean, have you read some of the other stuff that's out there? Really! What's the worst that could happen? That someone emails me and says it sucks? Well, that has certainly happened. But the two or three we've gotten over the years are minuscule compared to the so many great complements we've gotten, and the thanks, and so on and so on. And then I remembered my own criteria for knowing if we are doing well, or not: "Are they telling others?" Are subscriptions increasing, and what's the unsubscribe rate compared to the subscribe rate.

WE HAVE DONE EXTREMELY WELL we've learned to listen through the years and because we have kept our promise and our schedule. It's really quite simple to do a monthly newsletter: once a month, so that you never run out of material, just often enough to maintain that presence and keep the ideas flowing amongst others. We get ideas from the people who send us questions, from our daily business activities, and from being able to laugh at the news out there. That's right, the news, high comedy!

WELL I'M HERE TO TELL YOU, our subscription rate has been steady each and every week! We must be doing something right! Now every now and then, we make a mistake, but you know what? We chalk that up to experience! And we've had lots of those experiences! But it's no different than taking a chance: a trance for success!

AND WE WANT TO SHARE THAT CHANCE FOR SUCCESS with YOU! From time to time, we get adventurers who submit an article for us to include in our monthly letter. Some we publish, some we don't. It really depends on how relevant it is and how much of an impact we think it could make on the lives of others! But each and every one of them
has enjoyed the fact that others read their articles, and respond back to them! Every one of them has gotten responses and recognition and a boost where they need it most: in their own feel good spot!

There is nothing like just putting yourself out there, taking that risk, wondering and worrying, then discovering that there are so many people out there with so many perspectives, that opportunities abound and they're FREE!! Are you ready to share in the success just waiting for YOU?

HOPEFULLY YOU HAVE AN ANSWER to the above question . . .

NOW, stop here and relive your experience of reading the above article. Many of you will re-experience it, some of
you will *think about* it. Do both, and notice your own emotions, sensations, or lack of, those with one process vs. the other, etc.

WHICH DO YOU PREFER and WHEN and for which reasons?

©2019 John La Valle

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A Publicist does Much More than Land Media - What YOU need to do to be Ready

by Joanne McCall

What you Must have in Place BEFORE you Seek a Publicist

To say our world is changing quickly is cliché. In fact, quick change is the new norm, so we must be willing to learn new things and change quickly too.

Never has this been more true when it comes to book publicity and visibility. If you have a book, before you reach out to a publicist to help you with publicity, it is critical that you have these three essential items handled, or that your publicist can help you with them.

What are they?

Before you approach media or do any of your own content generation regarding your book, you must address the following:

1. Positioning
2. Hooks and sound bites
3. Multiple media channels

Let's look at each of these three points in a little more detail, beginning with their definition:

1. Positioning:

Definition: Taking your book and its message into the market place and describing it in such a way that it is quickly understood and compels your market, both media and direct readers, to want to review you, talk to you, and/or buy your book. This is the critical first step to any campaign you want to develop.
Positioning is critical because unless you have something extremely new and different, there are many others writing on your topic. Whether it's health, wealth happiness, or any other topic, the world is filled with books on each of these subjects, so how can you stand out?

Ask this question:

"What is unique about me and my book?" What are you saying that no one else is saying? What comparisons would you use to describe your book and your key messages? How are you different?
Knowing the answer to this question makes you a Red Sheep.

What? What is a Red Sheep?

Imagine a graphic consisting of lots of white sheep. They all look the same, mostly white with some black. Cute, but boring. And then you notice up there, just to the right of center…Why, it’s a RED sheep. A red sheep in the midst of all the white ones. It’s different. It’s interesting. It’s compelling. It’s unique. It's you! I call it the Red Sheep phenomenon.

You want to be the red sheep.

It is extremely easy to stand up in this world. Anyone can put up a website, start a blog, and create social media accounts. Big deal. The trick is, with all the incessant noise, how are YOU going to stand out? That is what positioning will help you to do.
Once you know your positioning in the market place, you must be able to generate hooks and sound bites for each of your key messages. Moving on to step two...

2. Hooks and sound bites:

Definition: What is a hook? A hook is that thing that grabs you. It's when you hear that new song for the first time and you decide you must purchase it! It's when you're looking at article titles online and you decide to click on one above all the others. That is a hook. It grabbed you.

Definition: A sound bite is a brief, catchy statement or comment. A sound bite packs a great deal of meaning in just a few words. They stand out from everything else you are saying and they are memorable. For example: I heard an interview with a relationship expert and after telling a story, she summed up her message with this statement: "When it comes to relationships, perfection equals pure fiction." That is a sound bite. Read it out loud to get the full effect.

Testing, testing:

There is an easy way for me to test how someone is doing regarding hooks and sound bites. All I have to do is ask, “What is your book about?” And then I just let the author respond.

Sometimes I don’t say another word for :15 minutes, and finally, I have to interrupt him or her and bring them back to the task at hand.
How they answer that simple question immediately tells me how much help they need. Their response reflects if they have any experience or skill at being succinct, the use of sound bites, and if they know anything about positioning.
You very well may be THE expert in your profession, but when it comes to positioning the book and talking about it in a compelling way, there is a learning curve. This simply must be addressed in today's multi-media world. Too often authors go to a publicist expecting him or her to work magic and land all kinds of media, but unless you're interesting, unless you're positioned correctly, it isn't going to happen. Here are some elements that must be present...

You must have Energy

Whether you want to do podcasts, radio, television, Zoom, Skype interviews and even print interviews, you must have energy. You need to come across with enthusiasm for your topic. This may seem obvious, but you would be amazed at the number of people who have no clue how to do this. Perhaps they're nervous or worry that they'll sound over the top and too excited, but whatever the reason, the energy and enthusiasm must come through if your interview is to see the light of day.
(One caveat: If your topic is tied into tragic news or is sad by its very nature, such as grief or disease, too much enthusiasm will work against you. You still need to have energy when you discuss it, however, so you must know how to be passionate, empathic, and yet have energy. There is a bit of an art to this.

You must be unique:

Say something new, and if it's really true there is nothing new under the sun, then say it differently.
For example, if you’re a financial advisor, one of your tips might be that everyone should save 15 – 20% of their earnings. OK. But that is a yawner. We all know that, (whether we do it or not is another story...) so how can you say this and make it compelling, or what other tips do you have that we haven't heard over and over again?
If you’re a career expert and you’re telling people to make sure there are no typos on your resume, that, too, is obvious. We've heard it many times. What little secret do you have that is new? That's the kind of thing that will hook a reader or an interviewer.
If you’re a relationship expert and you’re telling us to have a date night with our spouse once a week, well, we've heard that. What else can you say that will bring couples closer together?


When media has a beat, they've pretty much heard it all before. What you present has to be new, different, compelling, or simply said in a new and compelling way. You need a new spin on it. You must find a way to stand out to capture their attention.

Remember too:

You’re always selling your book, but that doesn't mean you should come across like a carnival barker. No. When you share each of your key messages, the only way to get others excited about it if is YOU'RE excited about it. How do you want the other person to feel? Do what makes them feel that way. Then they're interested in knowing more about you and your book.

3. Media Channels.

Definition: What is a media channel? It's all the different ways news and information comes to us. Back in the day, print, radio and television was the way to reach your audience. Now, however, we still have those media channels, but we have many more to consider, including influencers, podcasts, online journalists, bloggers, video media, social media, etc. If we break social media into its separate channels, , e.g., Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, YouTube, etc., we have many more, so ask yourself the following:

Two questions:

Where does your audience hang out?
What do you like to do?

Of course, in order to identify where your audience hangs out, you have to know exactly who your audience is! (Hint: If you say my audience is "everyone," then you don't have it yet.)
There are those "experts" who say you have to be visible in all the various media channels, but that is simply not true. Of course, they are very busy making sure they and their clients have a presence everywhere, but all I find is that people end up feeling overwhelmed, under impressed, and wondering what kind of ROI they're getting for all their blood, sweat and tears.
I disagree with this philosophy, and since you don't have to be everywhere all the time, then pay attention to what you really like to do...and do that. You don't have to tweet out every hour to have a presence on Twitter. ("Hey, just take an hour and write out all 24 tweets. Then you can simply schedule them to go out once every hour.") Um, no thanks. Do you love doing radio interviews and podcasts? Do you love video? Do you love to write? Do what you love to do.

The real test:

There is no shortage of things to do, so it comes down to answering those two questions: Where does your audience hang out? And what do you love to do?
If you do what you love, position yourself correctly, create key messages, hooks and sound bites, and direct them at the right people, you are going to be successful.

The bottom line:

Become the Red Sheep. How are you unique? Stay focused and avoid distractions. Figure out your best positioning, and if you don't know what this is, then find a publicist who understands how to help you with this. Make sure he or she can help you with your key messages and turn them into hooks and sound bites. And, finally, look at the many different media channels today and put your attention and effort into these.
As we all know, the world is constantly changing. The best of us learn this truth, continue learning, and adapt that learning into our books and our work in the world.

About Joanne McCall:
Joanne McCall works with authors to help them become Media Darlings and gets the media to call them. Her secret sauce is helping authors, speakers, coaches and entrepreneurs position themselves and their books, deliver fantastic interviews, and capture media attention through the various media channels now available. On a first-name basis with hundreds of top-rung producers, editors, writers, and journalists, she secures coverage for clients including Brian Tracy, Ken Blanchard, Dave Ramsey, Andrea Lee, Mark Babbitt, Shawn Murphy, The Deepak Chopra Center for Wellbeing, and the founder of NLP, Dr. Richard Bandler. Her Media Positioning Consultations help authors to become Media Darlings.

©2019 Joanne McCall

Joanne McCall can get you known! Get your questions answered on visibility, publicity, marketing, and media training, at her complimentary Q&A calls every second and fourth Tuesdays of the month. Click the link to opt in and she will send you all the juicy details.

Joanne McCall works with authors to help them become Media Darlings and gets the media to call them. Her secret sauce is helping authors, speakers, coaches and entrepreneurs position themselves and their books, deliver fantastic interviews, and capture media attention through the various media channels now available. On a first-name basis with hundreds of top-rung producers, editors, writers, and journalists, she secures coverage for clients including Brian Tracy, Ken Blanchard, Dave Ramsey, Andrea Lee, Mark Babbitt, Shawn Murphy, The Deepak Chopra Center for Wellbeing, and the co-creator of NLP, Dr. Richard Bandler. Her Media Positioning Consultations help authors to become Media Darlings.

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Thinking on Purpose is an indispensable guide to anyone who wants to make changes in their life. Most people don’t really ‘think’. They ‘remember’.
That’s why they are often destined to repeat the same negative patterns over and over again.
Dr. Richard Bandler, the genius behind NLP who has changed the lives of millions of people through his life’s work,
teams up with Owen Fitzpatrick and Dr. Glenda Bradstock to offer you a 15 day, step by step guide to thinking smarter, better and on purpose so you can build a much brighter future.

Available at Amazon, Apple, Kobo, B&N on March 1st 2019. Available in your local book stores today

Dr. Richard Bandler, Owen Fitzpatrick and Dr. Glenda Bradstock

Order Yours Here Today!

Using NLP to Eliminate OCD

by Pam Castillo

I had the father of a 26 year old, write to me to see if I could help his daughter who has been diagnosed with "severe OCD, since she was 8 years old". 18 YEARS!
He told me the OCD was so severe the daughter was on total state disability and had all but given up on her dream to go to medical school. Dad told me the young girl had been the subject of a television documentary 18 years ago on children with OCD.

I invited them both over for a cup of tea to chat about what NLP™ is, what is not, and to observe them both and give the young woman a chance to connect with me and see if she wanted to make the changes in her life to eliminate her symptoms if it was possible. The young woman explained that she washed her hands in excess of 100 times a day to the point where her knuckles bled from the cracking and dryness this caused to her skin. She expressed a few other less severe problems as well but the hand washing was what she considered her biggest obstacle in life. She was a very intelligent person.

When they came for a brief meet and greet, the young woman, expressed that she was fearful of "treatment" since she'd been to many psychologists and psychiatrists over the years without results and she didn't want to get her hopes up any more. I observed the father's attempts to control and maneuver the conversation. I told her to think it over and that she would know if this were the right step to take and to contact me when she was ready to make an appointment. About 3 weeks went by and she contacted me for an appointment. This was an important step in the change process for her to take control of her own processes. Step one!

When she arrived for the appointment, having driven more than 2 hours to see me, she was anxious and told me she didn't know what to expect. Very quickly we were laughing about the L.A. freeway system and different types of drivers and she began to relax a bit. I began to question her about HOW she knew it was time to wash her hands. It took a bit of guiding to get her to answer my specific elicitation questions until she said: "I say to myself, 'your hands are dirty, go wash your hands and get them clean'".

I asked her who's voice was saying that? She discovered it was her own voice. I saw her listen to check it and she said, "Yes, it's my voice".

I asked her what kind of tone of voice she uses and she said: "Well, I call it my OCD voice" and I asked her to teach me her OCD voice and she responded the following in sharp, quick, loud tones: "IT'S VERY CONFIDENT, VERY DIRECT AND URGENT and I say "YOUR HANDS ARE DIRTY, GO AND WASH THEM AND GET THEM CLEAN! in that tone".

I widened my eyes and told her "WOW what great leadership abilities you have, you should congratulate yourself". She looked puzzled and asked me what I meant. I said, "Well, if someone spoke to you that way - VERY CONFIDENT, VERY DIRECT and URGENT and said: "YOUR HANDS ARE DIRTY, GO AND WASH THEM AND GET THEM CLEAN", wouldn't you know exactly what to do from that?" She laughed and said "I guess so".

I told her the good news is that she was just misinforming herself about the facts and however that started didn't matter any more and that the OCD voice was going to be very useful to her in new ways now. She comprehended what I meant immediately. So I led her to get some clarity about her cleanliness standards to really know when hand washing was appropriate and when her hands were in fact, clean enough and then to simply use her OCD voice to communicate accurately and honestly because we know it already works perfectly well. The new phrase she came up with using the OCD voice was: "I am comfortable that my hands are clean enough and I have other things I'm going to do now instead". We future paced this and spent the rest of the session talking about what she was going to do instead now that she's going to have so much more time available to do other things. We actually calculated about how many hours a month/year she used up with "that old hand washing thing" and with so much time now wide open she began to talk about wanting to go back to school, finish her undergraduate classes and apply to med school.

I made an appointment for her to return so we could make a few more changes in other areas. In the follow up appointment, she told me she had totally stopped washing her hands except for the appropriate times by her standards which were all quite normal things such as after using the restroom et al.

She expressed being on friendly terms with her OCD voice now, and using it to do things she actually wants to do, rather than things she does't want and that never occurred to her before and it made so much sense to her. And most importantly, it was working. It's now been about 16 weeks since the initial appointment and the client reports no OCD hand washing.. I'm paraphrasing the process I used and it's perhaps a slight oversimplification, but not by much. And what has never ceased to amaze me with NLP is how people will tell you exactly HOW they have their problem and most of time, therein lies the biggest clue of how to change it with a little creativity. Very often, I like to use the very process that's been working to get the wrong outcome and turn it around and use it to defeat the problem. After all, we know it works, right?! Milton Erickson was great at this. My favorite Erickson book on that is Milton H. Erickson, An American Healer.

The other issues that needed some change/tweeking were to learn to set some well form goals for her future, and to amp up her sense of self control in other areas. In the second session, I taught her about well formed goals, had her write out 10 new well formed goals and write the first 2 action steps to achieving each of them. For the lack of control she had been feeling with her family, I had her draw a control panel, installed it and sent her on her way to play with it. She says her family dynamics have shifted appreciably and they are all working together now without argument. She found her boundaries and is expressing them to others in a comfortable and compassionate way to everyone's delight. Her dad is saving up his money to take my NLP Practitioner course because of quick and profound changes he has seen in his daughter. I heard from my client that she has enrolled back in college for the fall semester and has rediscovered her passion for reading and is looking forward to medical school.

18 years of thinking she had OCD, medications with a host of side effects - not the least of which were fatigue, lack of focus and sleepiness has all changed in about 4-6 hours of time spread over 2 appointments. Now, I can't say whether she really had OCD or she just had a slight miscommunication to herself, that discovering the sub-modalities of tonality and using them in new ways simply made a more clear communication for a completely different outcome.

I have my opinions and I'm guessing you do too.

©2019 Pam Castillo

Pam Castillo is a Licensed Trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming® with the Society of Neuro-Linguistic Programming™. Pam founded Clarity Institute, where for more than 20 years, she maintains a private practice for NLP Changework on personal development issues, health and healing and loving relationships. Clarity Institute offers NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner certification courses and NLP workshops on a variety of topics in the Los Angeles area.
Check Out The Next NLP Training course!

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Check This Out:

The Best You

Filled with advice on getting things done, confidence, self esteem, motivation, focus, feeling and looking great and doing whatever it takes to help you improve your life, The Best You is an antidote to bad news and feeling stuck in life.

What's more, this is far more than a magazine. Contains video interviews with celebrities and big names, who share their advice, their experience and their observations on life. Just click through to watch the interviews - which gave yet more advice and tips.

In all, The Best You is a smart, multimedia experience that will inspire, inform and entertain all at once - and guide you to become

The Best You

The next program for Licensed NLP Coaching Trainer™ announced!

Congratulations to our most recent 2018 class in London and the full list is at

Persuasion Engineering®
Now on DVD! Get It!!

THE FINEST NLP INSTITUTES AROUND THE WORLD: check them out for your NLP programs!

Banishing Phobias - Richard Bandler: Get This Here by Clicking Here
Secrets of Success - Richard Bandler: Get This Here by Clicking Here



Thinking on Purpose is an indispensable guide to anyone who wants to make changes in their life. Most people don’t really ‘think’. They ‘remember’.
That’s why they are often destined to repeat the same negative patterns over and over again.
Dr. Richard Bandler, the genius behind NLP who has changed the lives of millions of people through his life’s work,
teams up with Owen Fitzpatrick and Dr. Glenda Bradstock to offer you a 15 day, step by step guide to thinking smarter, better and on purpose so you can build a much brighter future.

Available at Amazon, Apple, Kobo, B&N on March 1st 2019. Available in your local book stores today

Dr. Richard Bandler, Owen Fitzpatrick and Dr. Glenda Bradstock

Order Yours Here Today!

The Definitive Guide to NLP for Teaching and Learning

Richard Bandler & Kate Benson
Order yours today here!

Magic in Practice: Introducing Medical NLP
The Art and Science of Language in Healing and Health

by Garner Thomson with Dr. Khalid Khan

This edition, with new introduction by Richard Bandler, is fully revised and updated

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FUTURE ISSUES will include more favorite topics, more tips for MORE EXQUISITE CUSTOMER SERVICE, STRATEGIES, MORE LANGUAGE USAGE, and of course, other areas of interest.

WE'RE LOOKING FOR SUCCESS STORIES OR, if you have a HOT TIP, or some VALUABLE RESOURCE you'd like to share (another word for promote), e-mail me and let me know. We prefer for it to be NLP related,
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JUST E-MAIL YOUR IDEAS, tips, resources to:
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