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John's HOT NLP Tips December 2018 Issue
20 Years on the Internet Without a Single Miss!

When traveling the globe, I personally use this program
and it has been an absolute super addition to my traveling office:

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1. SALES OR MARKETING? - John La Valle
2. BULLIES AND THE BULLIED - Kay Cooke
3. GO FOR YOUR GOAL(d) - John G. Johnson
4. WHERE CAN I FIND WHAT ELSE IS HAPPENING?
5. SO, WHAT'S COMING UP?

Sales or Marketing?

John La Valle

So, I'm looking at a few small businesses because I know the owners and they've made some comments about wanting to get more customers and increase their sales. One said, "We can use some sales training."

They're friends or at least acquaintances, so I go to their places and at one of them I go in say, "Hi", and sit and chat with them for about an hour. This is a retail place, and based on the business, I would expect that there are people (potential customers if not customers) coming in and going out. In that hour, I see no one except the person I'm speaking with. I go back and visit a few more times, and at different times of the day to check. There are a few customers or potential customers coming, etc.
Do they need sales training? NO! They need more customers, more traffic coming into their place. They need better marketing! Marketing brings them inside your place. That comes first!

The next one is a spa kind of a place and I do the same with them. They have a person at the front desk. I walk in and up to the desk, and they look up at me and in a dull, boring voice, "Can I help you?" And I reach out with my hand to greet them, and I say, "Hi, my name is John." They shake my hand, sort of, and say, "Hi, so can I help you?" I'm immediately thinking, "Probably not ...", but I don't say that. What I do say is, "I'm not sure if you can help me, I'm interested in what kind of services you have here." And their response is another question: "Well, what are you interested in?" And so I said, "I don't know because I don't know what you have here. Perhaps you can let me know." Now, at this point, I'm ready to walk out but I don't. I see some different brochures, I pick up one of each, and walk over to a seat, sit and start to make like I'm reading. As a few others walked in, obviously potential customers, they ask similar questions and I can hear them struggling to get to the point of getting pricing info. It's not that the person behind the desk was rude, or anything of that sort. They just weren't asking good questions and/or answering the questions being asked!
This place needs sales training, or at least customer service training.

These are just 2 examples of what I experience with different business that basically want to increase their business. That's a fair and worthy mission. BUT in their is what's really more important: what behaviors have to change in order to reach those goals.

When thinking "about" your business start with the big picture and work your way down to the details. And getting results is the reward!

©2018 La Valle, all rights reserved in all media


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Here's an interesting article on Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Reframing and politics by one of Richard Bandler's good ol' friends.

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Bullies and the Bullied

by Kay Cooke

I work with bullies and the bullied.

Take a recent example of a teenager who was being publicly humiliated on social media after posting a live singing performance at a local talent competition.
The mum removed said post from social media citing 'thumbs down and online judgments/jibes' as evidence of bullying.

What happens inside your mind when you hear the word 'bullied'. What assumptions do you make and what is your default emotional reaction?

I think the word 'bully' is a powerful metaphor that instantly shifts the words and pictures inside our minds (NLP calls these submodalities). The word becomes a weapon of mass toxicity, since it is widely accepted as an identity (he is… she is… they are …), long before reason allows us to unpack the component parts of values, beliefs, capabilities, behaviours, and environments.

I believe we have a responsibility to tune up our engine ears and stay out of the social narrative.

My first position when working with the theme of bullying is to build a map of the 'whole system' that supports both bullies and the bullied.

In the example of the teenager experiencing online contempt for her performance we can map this:

From the perspective of the Mum:
Mum has recognised her own ability/responsibility to 'manage' public perspective (remove a certain video). She perceives this as an irritating but manageable detail within the bigger picture (staying focused on building her daughter's performance career).
IMO this is a smart PR move regardless of the 'reasons' (bullies, trolls) given. We can understand this move intuitively as we've all removed a post or two from social media, haven't we?

From the perspective of teenager:
Teen 'wants' to express her vocal art form, this is a powerful (towards) emotional motivational. She also recognises that in order to play the system in which she operates, she will need to cultivate and harness public opinion, which can feel both a powerful (towards) emotional motivational, and a powerful (away from) emotional motivation.

From the perspective of public performance industry/system:
Our global celebrity culture is vast, seductive (especially to teenagers) and ruthless. Talent streaming is big business that invests heavily in free-for-all social commentary, which confuses opinion and fact.
Every single player, ever, is disposable.
Every and any story with emotional content will be used to drive attention and manipulate the masses. This is not personal, it's a cash cow.
Some 'systems' are more honest about these structures than others and some with integrity even 'coach' their players.

From the perspective of the fans:
Fans operate within a 'thrive' brain pattern.
Celebrating the successes of your tribe member feels great. Oxytocin and serotonin are just two of the 'sameness-filter' chemicals that are released. Fans engage in dream/desire imaginations and look/hear/feel personal and social benefits of their behaviours that when further endorsed by other tribe members, boosts a nice dose of (feel good) dopamine.

From the perspective of the haters:
This is a 'survive' brain pattern.
This brain pattern locks out logic, reason and 'thinking' and locks in primitive survival behaviours and emotional responses. Objecting to threatening 'differences' of other people reminds the hater that they are important. Cortisol and adrenaline are just two of the 'difference-filter' power chemicals that are released. Expressing anger, jealousy and bitterness gets attention and also boosts (feel good) dopamine.

Helping the bullied:
We have to extinguish the fire that the bullied person is experiencing. There are many, many resilience strengthening techniques we can use, and strategies we can teach; only limited by our inattention to the client's reality.

Helping the bullies:
Then we reverse engineer the sausage machine to find out at which level, 'all' behaviours are 'positively intended'.

The bigger picture:
We cannot expect our children (and therefore society) to 'thrive' if the most primitive survival reaction is engaged. Therefore we have to educate the next generation and their support structures to learn to drive their thrive brains, and as an application of NLP our Happy Brain work is powerful in doing this.

Personal commentary:
I find social norms of bully-victimhood (cause- effect) and 'meaning' (complex equivalents) are destructives in the world of resilience.
What one unhappy person calls bullying, another unhappy might call human behaviour.
One unhappy person may blame another person/group/culture and another person may blame themselves.
Generalising this theme does not help those who really need support. And many really do need help - both bullies and bullied.

Happy Brain, as an application of NLP, provides training, coaching and programmes that include the science behind our most primitive of all positive intentions - survival of the species. Did you see the news story last week where a missionary was shot dead by the arrows of a remote primitive tribe...

©2018 Kay Cooke


Kay Cooke is a Licensed Trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming® based in the north of England. She works internationally to facilitate learning, develop creativity, and teach flexible thinking, adaptability and resilience in education, business and health.

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Check This Out:

The Best You

Filled with advice on getting things done, confidence, self esteem, motivation, focus, feeling and looking great and doing whatever it takes to help you improve your life, The Best You is an antidote to bad news and feeling stuck in life.

What's more, this is far more than a magazine. Contains video interviews with celebrities and big names, who share their advice, their experience and their observations on life. Just click through to watch the interviews - which gave yet more advice and tips.

In all, The Best You is a smart, multimedia experience that will inspire, inform and entertain all at once - and guide you to become

The Best You



Go For Your Goal(d)

John G. Johnson

HAVE YOU EVER focused your mind to achieve an outcome, only to fall short, or a long way from it? Every year around New Years Day most people attempt to fixate their mind and attitude towards the goal or goals they wish to achieve for the year - and probably beyond. Some engage in this behavior even earlier. Either way you look at it, orienting your mind to achieving your desired outcome is something that can be done - anytime - not just at the beginning of a calendar year.

WHAT IS interesting is that a significant amount of these "goal setters" fail to get what they want, allowing their dream or dreams to fall by the wayside or just forgetting them, perhaps blaming environment and circumstance(s) for their failure(s). I've heard it often said, "show me an excuse, I'll show you a failure."

THE MOST EFFECTIVE way you can look at this thing called "failure" is by separating your feelings from the information. We call this information "feedback." Looking at your unintended result from this vantage point allows you to ask yourself one of many well-defined questions, allowing you to find the "missing link(s)" that will assist you to get your goal(d).

COULD IT BE that the missing link is a critical persuasive factor, or factors, that are possibly causing you to fall - just arms length of your life's ambition? Successfully attaining your goal requires various persuasive ingredients. But, for our purposes I am going to let you in on three often overlooked secrets to success.

FIRST, must be stated in the positive and be specific. This makes perfect sense because our minds are direction-oriented. For example, let's say your goal is simply to buy a car. Constantly saying, "I don't want a truck, I don't want a van, etc." is counterproductive, a waste of your personal persuasive abilities. Instead, it would be easier and more persuasively productive to state your intent in the positive. "I want to buy a car," OR something that is positively directionally oriented to what you - specifically - want. The clearer you make your language match the image you have of what you want, the better off you will be. To continue with the car example, saying you want a car is not specific enough. WHAT type of car do you want? "I want a Jaguar XJS!" And even more specific, "I want an ebony black Jaguar XJS, etc.! Get the point, yes? Have you ever heard the axiom, "watch your words?"

SECOND, make sure your goal is sensory based. You and I know that human beings have five senses. (Yes, an argument can be made that there are more. But that is for another discussion). Your goal must be represented in at least three of the five senses, (Seeing, Hearing, Feeling, Tasting and Smelling) Again, seeing that our minds are forward seeking, imbuing your senses and your 'other than conscious mind' with what you want - engages all your inner resources to seamlessly drive you in the appropriate direction.

Let's take the car example again, or should I say "the ebony black Jaguar XJS." What will you see, hear and feel? What does the ebony black Jaguar XJS look like? How do the sun's rays glint off its chrome features? Can you see yourself in an open top or a closed roof of the ebony black Jaguar XJS? How does your dream car's engine purr as you ignite and tease its engine alive? How do you react to the smell of the interior, the fragrance of a new car? How does the Italian leather bucket driver seat the feel as you float down securely and comfortably into it? How do your hands feel as you wrap your fingers around the steering wheel? How does this ebony black Jaguar XJS handle corners as you take it for a drive? ENGAGE YOUR SENSES. Fill your mind, your senses in your dream!

THIRD, you must set your goal and the behavior necessary to obtain it with the ability to maintain it yourself. Far too often people depend on some external factor, or factors, to make their dream come alive. ("Oh, so and so 'might' do this for me," "I'll 'hope' that these things fall into place soon," "I'll 'wait' for inspiration," blah blah blah…)Yes, there could be circumstances that calls for such things, but those are not of what I am speaking of. Ask yourself this; "to get my goal what resources do I need and are they under my control?" Let's take the car scenario we have been using so far.

The person wanting this ebony black Jaguar XJS can get a job, allowing him/her to save money towards purchasing this car. This person has the ability to seek out dealerships that will offer the best price, etc. If this person wanting this ebony black Jaguar XJS said, "I'll sit and 'just hope to' win the lottery," or "I'll wait' until my rich relative passes on, or what have you, then the probability that he/she will get this car goes way, way and way down.

Simply put - Take action; take charge of what goals you desire and "Go For It!" There is no need to wait on hopeful factors that are not under your control! Be the Master and Commander of your dreams so they can come blazingly alive for you; let your healthy ambitions resonate through every fiber of your being! Utilize all your resources!

These are some of the distinctions, the ingredients that make the difference between getting your bronze, silver or gold! The choice is always yours!

Go For Your Goal(d)!

© John G. Johnson 2018 - All rights reserved!


John Johnson is a Licensed Trainer of NLP™ who currently does one on one coaching and also works with Martial Arts schools for their business success! He also assists us in Orlando sometimes.
Check out his site NLP Success by Design today! He can assist and teach you in the most incredible ways!

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The next program for Licensed NLP Coaching Trainer™ announced!

Congratulations to our most recent 2018 class in London and the full list is at http://www.nlpcoach.com/:

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©2018 La Valle, all rights reserved in all media

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