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John's HOT NLP Tips February 2012 Issue
Over 13 Years on the Internet Without a Single Miss!

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2. WORK IS AN ATTITUDE - Ray Mooney
3. EXPERIENTIAL LEARNING NOT ONLY AT SCHOOL - Stefanie Pagel
4. WHERE CAN I FIND IT?
5. JOHN'S OTHER HOT PICKS
6. SO, WHAT'S COMING UP?

WHY? BECAUSE . . .
HOW TO WORK THAT METAPROGRAM

John La Valle

Do you find yourself fishing for those highly valued criteria? You went to some NLP class and they taught you to ask all those questions that are supposed to elicit metaprograms? Well, it's not the metaprogram, or responses to the elicitation questions that supposedly provides the person's metaprograms, but the actual sequencing of their metaprograms as the person naturally speaks that provides more valuable information. So the real skill is in getting the person (customer, client) to speak naturally so you can track the programs and sequencing of them.

Now, just in terms of sequence, I'll begin here with something very simple. Remember that pacing and leading does have its value in context. And while many times, it's even OK to reverse that to lead then pace, it's even more important to notice if you're getting the information you're seeking, or that you want or need. And this exactly what an associate of mine has done: He's noticed that his employees weren't getting the information they want from their clients, or even potential clients. Why? Because they didn't yet come and learn with me to fine tune those ever valuable nuances that can make or break the day, or even the month, for that matter.

What was happening was that when someone would come into their studio for a workout, the client may say something like, "Hi, I decided to come in today to work out a bit." And the consultant would ask them, "Why is it important to you to work out today?" And while this all sounds well and good in context, it breaks the client's state in such a way that the consultant wouldn't get a verbal response, but more of a bewildered nonverbal response from the client. Why? Simple: the client never stated that it's important to them. And since the question is asked out of the context in which the client is operating, they would have to transderivational search beyond the first and even second derivation just to try and figure out why they are being asking this question, because of the presupposition in the question!

Now, had the consultant responded differently like this: "It's really good to see that you decided to come in today (pace) and it must be important to you that you have." And wait for the client to respond to this conversational postulate. If they say, "Yes, it is", now the consultant has the segue to go on with, "Let me ask you something, because I'm really interested in other people's motivations and reasons [Chialdini pattern to increase the propensity of getting a response], What's important to you about that?" (Client makes submodality shift to dissociated so they can have a "better picture" and see themselves in the visual and since they're already being asked to go to a meta position to calculate what they are being asked to calculate, anyway, give them some assistance with the shift).

And chances are, the client will provide more information in this instance. We'll find out what happens as my associate now brings his staff up to speed fine-tuning their skills.

Remember, elicitation ought to be designed to be Well-Targeted enough to elicit the information you want or need, and yet flexible enough to be changed quickly enough to still hit your mark. In Persuasion Engineering™, we teach how to design questions in just this way. Did you know that you can design one question and ask it in about 12-15 ways? And that's just the start, naturally.

©2012 John La Valle

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Work Is An Attitude

By Ray Mooney

Note from John: Every now and then I come across something inspirational and this is one of those:
Ray Mooney, an long time friend and business associate gave this talk to high schoolers so that he
could make a difference in their attitudes:

I get asked all the time if there is one, single thing that someone can do to be successful, to make more money. And, believe it or not there is.

So, I want to start out our talk today with that one, single thing that will determine how you will do at work, how much you will enjoy work and working, how often you will be promoted and how much money you will make.

And I predict many, perhaps most of you or even all of you will not believe me or will not like what I have to say. But I will share with you examples. Real life examples that I hope help you grasp this one, single, simple point.

The one, single, simple thing that will have more influence than anything else in your entire working career is… A POSITIVE ATTITUDE. We’ll come back to this point throughout today’s discussion.

But a quick story…some years ago I was teaching a class at Bainbridge HS in Georgia. The assignment was to define terms. You have all done that, I am sure. The term was “self image”. When I asked the class what they thought self image meant one of students told us that when she went to the beauty shop if the person going to do her hair did not keep her own hair nice she didn’t want to be worked on by that hairdresser. And why? Because as a customer that student felt that hairdresser might not have had a positive attitude towards her work.

Think of your own experiences while out shopping or out to eat. Have you ever been in a store where you felt that store employee just did not care about their work? If you did not get treated the way you wanted or expected to be treated I bet you that experience left you not feeling good about what you bought.

Jobs I have had:
Prior to age 16:
Mowing lawns and yard care
Shoveling snow
Raking leaves
Baby sitting
Cleaning houses
Washing cars, waxing cars
Delivering newspapers

Age 16 to 25:
Clean up person at a dry cleaners
Supermarket grocery clerk and front end clerk
Pumping gas
Mason’s helper
Target range
Parking cars at a country club

Age 25 to 59:
Tire mounter and Auto mechanic
Accounting clerk
Warehouse manager
Shipping supervisor
Shipping Manager
Production Manager
Labor relations manager
Heavy equipment operator
Substitute teacher
Human Resources Manager
Custom woodworker
Consultant

Total employers – more than 20.

What I would like you to understand from listening to this list of my jobs is that I did not start out where I am today.
Schooling I have had:
HS
College
Graduate school
Lots of assorted courses beyond college

By the way…there is a direct connection between how much education you get for yourself and your lifetime earnings. Keep in mind that’s “education” not necessarily just schooling. Educating yourself, learning everything you can about what you do is very important. Think of it this way…would you rather have your car worked on by a smart mechanic or a dumb mechanic?

Pay – on a payroll my pay has ranged from $1.25/hour at age 16 to what I make today. What I make today enables me to do pretty much whatever I want to do. I travel the world, I eat out when I want to, I donate regularly to a number of charities, my family and I live in a nice house and I will be able to continue to do all these things when I retire some day.

Why work?
First – what is work? Work is your contributions – both physical and mental to someone or something, like a company, so that a profit is produced.
You contribute to something that gets called your job or your work. Your boss or your company sells whatever you contributed for more than you were paid. That difference is profit and it is the only reason companies exist – to make money for their owners.
Companies need labor and ideas. Each employee, or those of us who work, contribute that labor and ideas. We get paid for that “work”. In the case of my working doing clean up at the dry cleaners what was I contributing?

So we make money by working and we help our employer make money to stay in business so we can keep working.
Work is always just that – work. If it was easy no one would pay us to do it. So, work is usually hard. People sweat at work; people go home from work tired. If you really want to get ahead, to earn more, to enjoy your work more you simply have to accept that work is hard. It just is. Come pay day we get paid for our work.

And we use that pay to pay for things we need and want. If we’re smart, we also save for the future.
Work is a means to an end. Work is what we do so we can earn money to do other things – things we enjoy like going to the movies, or to eat out or buy things we want like the latest iPhone.
That’s the simplest way to think about work I know. You contribute to your employer and your employer recognizes your contribution with your paycheck.

Work: It is NOT just showing up.
Why is that?
Because doing a good job IS your job. No one is paid to do a bad job.

Why do a great job?
One, it is the right thing to do. If someone is willing to pay you money to do something don’t you owe it to that person or company to give your work your best effort? I think you do. That’s one part of what having a positive attitude means.

Two, it is how people get ahead.

Three, if I have to let some people go who do you think I will keep?

The myth of the impersonal, uncaring corporation:
People everywhere say things like: “The company does not care about me.”
But the company does care – but maybe not in the way you think…

The company hired you for a reason. The company did not hire you because they are nice people – although they may be very nice. They did not hire you because you are a nice person – although you may be a very nice person. The reason you get hired is for your work, your contribution, your sweat, you’re doing at least what is expected – or more. Keep in mind that the company exists to earn a profit for its owners and for no other purpose. If you keep that in balance you will never get yourself in a place where you expect things the company is not designed to do.

Work can and should be a pleasant place to do your job, safe, free from harassment. But work is also not recreation. It is not play time or goof off time or time to hang out with your friends.
The more you care about your job, your work and your company the more you will be valued. And why? Because you are contributing to the success of the company. And in doing that you become more and more valuable.

In sports there is a Most Valuable Player award given every year. In baseball, for this year either Robinson Cano or Curtis Granderson from our New York Yankees are candidates to be named Most Valuable Player. Why are they the most valuable? Simple – they are recognized for contributing the most to the team’s success – to the team’s winning record. And things are no different in business, at your job or at any company you work for.

Back to my sports example…Robinson Cano makes a lot more money than some other baseball players. Why is that? Because he performs at a higher level, he contributes more; he does more to help the team win. And, once again, things are no different in business, at your job or at any company you work for.
Robinson Cano is EXCELLENT at what he does. So, in his chosen profession of baseball player his pay reflects that degree of excellence. You can be excellent at whatever you do.
How many of you know who Booker T. Washington is? Google him sometime, read a little bit about him.

Booker T. Washington was a slave. He became the President of Tuskegee University. How’s that for career success? Do you think when Booker T. Washington was a 10 year old slave anyone would have predicted he would become the President of Tuskegee University? I doubt it. But as you will hear Booker T. Washington had that one thing that made him a success - a positive attitude towards his work.

Here’s a short version of Booker T. Washington’s story…following Emancipation Booker T. Washington was determined to get an education. Eventually he gets to the Hampton Institute. The principal told him to sweep the floor. Where some people might have been insulted by such demeaning work Booker T. Washington saw it as an opportunity. He swept and dusted that room three times until not a speck of dust remained. Booker T. Washington took a positive attitude towards that work.

Remember my point about a positive attitude when we started this talk? That simple commitment to excellence not only got him into that school but it got him a job that enabled him to pay for school and his room and board. Why? Because excellence gets rewarded.

I think I am living proof of the point I am trying to make with my sports and Booker T. Washington examples although I am certainly no Robinson Cano or Booker T. Washington. At the same age as all of you are I was not very different than all of you are. I had no special talents. I doubt any of my grammar or high school teachers would have predicted any great measure of success for me. But I have done pretty well in my career. I think the answer is simple. I liked to work; I have always had a positive attitude toward my work. I never thought of my work as drudgery although I have worked very hard very often through the course of my career. I liked making money and I have always been willing to be thought of as someone who contributes. And the good news is that ability to contribute has, over the course of my own career and work history, been recognized.

I happen to be one of those people who just likes to work. I don’t know exactly why that is so but I like being busy, I like contributing, I like making things better. Do you? And so, I like to work. I consider myself fortunate because I have liked just about every job I have ever had. Some I liked more than others but I pretty much liked them all. And in one way or another every, single job I have ever had added something to me as a person and as a worker. The same can be true for you – if you decide to think of work with a positive attitude. I think my success and my pay today are directly tied to that thinking about work. I am sure some of it has to do with how I was raised and my early schooling but for whatever the reasons a positive attitude about work has translated itself into the very nice pay I receive today.

I mentioned earlier that one of my jobs was as a tire mounter. It is hard, physical work. It is hot in the summer, cold in the winter and when it rains the cars and tires are wet and dirty. But, I liked it. I took the same positive attitude to that work I always have. I got promoted to general installer doing non technical car repairs. That was a big step up in the work itself and the pay from just mounting tires. Shortly after that I was promoted again to 1st class mechanic. And that was a HUGE step up in pay. Not every tire mounter and general installer got promoted and got raises. But I did. I think the reason why is that I took a positive attitude towards my work, I worked hard and I always did a good job. Simple as that. I learned a lot about more than just cars doing that work. I learned about customer service, about treating customers and their cars with care and respect. And really that’s a pretty long way from mounting tires.

What do you think happens if you don’t care about your work, your job or your company? I will tell you exactly what happens. You will not do very well at your job. And after awhile of not doing very well at your job your boss and your company will look for, and find, someone who will do well at their job.

People with a positive attitude tend to be really good workers. And good workers tend to get recognized and rewarded. The reverse is also true. People with bad attitudes tend to be bad workers. And bad workers tend to be let go from their jobs and their companies. That makes perfect sense to me and I hope it does to you, too.

So how do you show or demonstrate that you care about your job and your work?
First – you show up – every day and on time.
Two – you are ready to work when you show up.
Three – you work hard and you work safe. You don’t goof off, you learn new things, you do more than is expected, you make suggestions, you help out, and you ask questions.

You job will have some effect on you. You will like it or you may not. But WAY more important is the effect you will have on your job. Either you will care and do your job really well – or you may not. If you decide to not care too much and to not work too hard and to show up only once in awhile and to goof off when no one is looking and to not listen to anything we talked about this morning please do not be surprised when things don’t work out for you. That you don’t get the pay you think you deserve. You have to EARN it.

On the other hand if you accept that the biggest factor in your success is YOU then you will constantly find yourself pleasantly surprised by the rewards and recognition you get at work.

So, in the end a positive attitude about your work, your job and your company really is the single greatest component that will determine your success in both that job and ultimately your career. I hope that seems obvious, trivial even. But really and truly that’s all work, any work, is about.

Thank you.
Questions?

©2012 Ray Mooney

Ray is a long time friend who was not "formally" NLP trained, and has had access to the information, along with some experiences that were not explicitly NLP, but where the technology was used to enhance an organization. Ray is an extremely qualified negotiator and an accomplished management development trainer and consultant, both externally and internally.

He has developed quite an array of tools and exercises to enhance performance in the corporate environment.

For more information, e-mail Ray at: Ray Mooney

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Experiential Learning Not Only at School

by Stefanie Pagel


I always enjoy learning from people who are not only the best at what they do, but also great at teaching it in an experiential manner. Learning by doing makes it all sink in a lot easier. Having grown up in a very theoretical and scientific parent’s home and school calling for competence, I had always realised the best possible outcome. Whatever I did, it had to be of a high standard. And I was certainly never comfortable doing new things without being and feeling proficient and qualified enough to act upon new ideas, projects or plans. Through my last NLP Practitioner course, this naturally improved which was largely due to true experiential learning. I am very grateful to this wonderful NLP trainer who had us all immediately putting what we had learnt into practice so that the participants could use the information with confidence even if we were not competent.

Literally, I studied business followed by a decade’s career in management. By that time, I always felt that I could be more successful (and happier) than I was. NLP opened my eyes towards success depending on my own ability to master not only what I think and say and do, but also on when and where. My NLP trainer has dedicated himself to permanently developing new ideas, tools, techniques and true models for the advancement of your own personality to get the most out of you. He used to say that opportunity is always there. And feeling positive emotions about what you want will truly help you to create your dreams. Visualise your life the way you want it to be and feel the way that it feels as if you already had your dream, you will indeed find opportunities to create things that make you happy right in front of you.

By that time, I was at the beginning of a career move to become a language and science teacher on secondary schools and colleges. But I spent a lot of time thinking about how I couldn’t find a suitable job as a teacher because of little competence, experience, suitable education, etc. After my NLP Practitioner course, things dramatically changed and in the end, I could not rescue myself from a variety of many wonderful vacancies so that I chose from the most promising ones.

Remember that the more complex things are the more important it is to keep things simple and pure. Honestly, these days some topics and subject’s issues in class are not only complex but incomprehensible and unrealistic.

Thinking back to my own school days, I used to feel very frustrated by the way teachers were grading exams. Obviously things hadn’t changed at all. Most of today’s pupils feel judged upon their person instead of considering any grade as simple feedback. Maybe it is also a linguistic manner as we only have a single word in German for mistake, fault or error. Children become so easily depressed and unmotivated. They fear no more than failing the class which still is a pedagogical relict from days long gone by. The more red-coloured marked pieces you see, the worse is your grade.

My first job was at a private school where I taught English, Maths and German. From day one, I had the reputation of being and teaching the other way round, perhaps because of having acted on as many NLP skills as possible with regard to colleagues, children and parents. Well, I took it as a compliment. As well as a welcome reason to change the way of correcting class exams.

First, I told pupils to consider a mistake as something that they could not be criticized for about their person.

Secondly, I ventured the unique experiment of marking anything that was correct in grammar, spelling, etc., in green colour (okay, any experiment may fail...). I must say, that calculated grade average did not differ from previous ones, but the children reaction was tremendous! Subliminally they followed that anything unmarked must have been incorrect. They became really excited of finding out their mistake and further correcting it by themselves. It was lovely to see them inspired to reach unimagined heights and me, too, I experienced new heights of performance. Unfortunately the director was not very amused after having gotten wind of my experiment.

Faster than I could think, I was fired. Initially I was a bit puzzled about the situation but for me it didn’t warrant it – he didn’t even ask me for my intention or let me explain things. Hence it only confirmed my prior assumption that German educationalists rather appreciate any kind of renewal or invention in everyday school (though exception proves the rule). I don’t regret this experiment at all! Instead it was something I shall be unable to forgive myself for until the end of my days.

Yet I was pleased being offered a position at another local school soon after where experiential learning is warmly welcomed.

Life is a mixed bag, filled with blessings to be grateful for, difficulties to overcome, opportunities to explore, decisions to make, and grief and suffering at times. NLP provided ways for me to exercise faith, gain knowledge and develop love against others. It is all about my own attitude which has a tremendous bearing on what will present itself before me, on the opportunities that will come to me and on what I will learn. And in my mind’s ear, I still hear these marvelous NLP trainers’ words, it is YOUR focus that determines your own reality and realises your dreams...So, ACT ON IT!

©2012 Stefanie Pagel

Stefanie Pagel has an MBA in International Business, a Bachelor of Laws, Licensed Professional Counsellor, Business Trainer, Senior Teacher who decided on a career move into professional education after 20 years as a management executive. Go visit her site today: http://www.pagel-lerncoach.de

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Sacred Cows Dancing
Volume #1, Financial Enlightenment For Today

A friend of mine, Dr. Houston Vetter asked me to write a chapter in a very unique book he put together called "Sacred Cows Dancing, Volume #1, Financial Enlightenment For Today".

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If you haven't gotten your copy get it here and start reading today.

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