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John's HOT NLP Tips July 2018 Issue
Over 19 Years on the Internet Without a Single Miss!

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3. APPLYING NLP TO SELF - James Seetoo

The Freedom to Decide

John La Valle

Thinking about July 4th here in the US and deciding brought me to a point, actually, about the FREEDOM to decide and how much we take for granted that freedom. The last bastion of freedom we have is our minds and our ability to make choices, etc. These are rights we are all born with and are ours to use as we have all been born on this planet

And, yet, there are people who still want to limit our ability to think for ourselves and to learn for ourselves, and to use our own brains for ourselves. There are still those who want to have the control over thinking and deciding. It's one thing to make the choice to ask someone else for help, it's quite another to learn to help oneself. After all, it is your brain. NLP was developed to make it easier to learn to run your own brain, not to have someone else run it for you. NLP has taken away the mystery of how easy it is for someone to change! It was never based on theories and it is not seated in any other discipline. It is a meta-discipline, that is a discipline of disciplines.

So how do you go about deciding to change yourself, or change for yourself?

The first and important step is deciding what, if anything, you want to change, and why. Sometimes there is something you want to do differently, sometimes something you want to do better. But consider "why" you want to change. I know there are some in NLP who preach that we are "not allowed" to ask why, but that is so far from the basis of the technology. After all, "why" goes to the reason, the motivation, and the impetus of how strong, or otherwise, you desire the change. What is "your" criteria for your own change? Do you want to change to please someone else, others, or yourself? Think this one through thoroughly. It's one piece that most often isn't considered in the process of deciding to change.

Since oftentimes we get feedback from others about our behavior, how do we decide which behaviors to change? Do we change constantly to please everyone? I don't think so. So what criteria do you use to decide? Now this "criteria" piece is actually inside the strategy of deciding whether or not to change for yourself. It's in the T.O.T.E. (strategy). If the criteria is met, the choice is made and exit the strategy, or go to the next routine. If the criteria isn't met, do you exit, or collect more information before deciding. And then, how much information is enough? How much is too much? How will you know? What is your criteria for information? Where do you get it, from whom, when and how?

I saw an interesting discussion regarding the question: is all perception projection? The interesting part about this that I didn't read, at least as of yet, is they both go in different "directions": one comes in and the other goes out. So which is which and when? If someone else decides to provide you with feedback about some behavior of yours, what is the feedback? Is it accurate? How are they deciding that it's something for you to know? Does it require a change and how would you know?

All of these questions connect to decision strategies you have and can be decided by yourself. While I agree that it's certainly useful get additional information from outside oneself, it certainly isn't necessary to rely on others to help you to change yourself. Oftentimes, it may be useful to have someone else assist but only for one reason: they can calibrate your physiology (4-tuples) from the outside better than you can on the inside, but that only makes sense. Then, once your brain learns how to run the routine, you can always do it yourself. That's why we have exercises in training programs.

It's important to remember that the more you exercise your personal freedom, the more you can enjoy it. The more you learn to help yourself, the more you will. The more you learn to be better at something than the time before, the more you will.

©2018 John La Valle, all rights reserved in all media

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Check This Out:

The Best You

Filled with advice on getting things done, confidence, self esteem, motivation, focus, feeling and looking great and doing whatever it takes to help you improve your life, The Best You is an antidote to bad news and feeling stuck in life.

What's more, this is far more than a magazine. Contains video interviews with celebrities and big names, who share their advice, their experience and their observations on life. Just click through to watch the interviews - which gave yet more advice and tips.

In all, The Best You is a smart, multimedia experience that will inspire, inform and entertain all at once - and guide you to become

The Best You

What You See, Hear, Touch, Smell, Taste

Making distinctions through your 5 SENSES

By Kay Cooke

Why do we do this? The quality of what we call 'sensory processing' is really important to how you think, feel and behave because throughout our lives, we build and modify sensory codes inside our minds that help us to navigate the world. It's how we build our map of the world - things to avoid and things to move towards. Some people's mental maps enable them to be courageous and bold (e.g. explorers) while other people's mental maps leave them scared and afraid (e.g. sleeping all day).

My job is to help people build strong robust mental maps with codes that bring success, happiness and fulfillment. Does that make sense to you?

Sometimes, sensory codes get damaged, narrowed or remain un-challenged, and when that happens, people often limit their choices. For example someone who cannot bear the sight of a spider will avoid any situation where they 'imagine' a spider might be. So eventually they stop going on holiday or visiting friends, just because their imagination is scaring them. My job is to help them 'clean' the code (in this case the imagination code) so that they can keep a healthy respect for spiders but feel free and happy to go on holiday or visit friends.

Happy Brain training uses fun games to help children and young people to explore and clean their own sensory channels.

By keeping all sensory channels working well, our kids get to build a more powerful thinking machine inside their heads.

We explore senses that are:
- Real (externally verified by someone else e.g. the colour of your front door)
- Imaginary (inside your mind e.g. a blue elephant eating an green banana)
- Memories (from past e.g. a holiday experience of eating an ice cream)
- Present (in the moment e.g. feeling the room temperature)
- Future (possible outcomes e.g. what you might wear next Sunday)
- Associated (a sense triggers an emotional (positive or negative) response e.g. touching grass feels nice whereas touching fingers feels unpleasant).

It's fun to identify which ones need a little more help in processing, to bring you happier thinking, feeling and behaviour. It's easy to learn how to super-clean this control panel inside your mind.

The best homeplay you can do to keep exploring your sensory channels, is to notice whether your thoughts are real, imagines, past, present, future. And - if the thoughts limit or enhance your choices.

©2018 The Managing Excellence Group

Kay Cooke is a Licensed Trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming® based in the north of England. She works internationally to facilitate learning, develop creativity, and teach flexible thinking, adaptability and resilience in education, business and health.

+++++++ LATEST NEWS+++++
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2-day core training includes a certificate of attendance from the Society of NLP™

NLPers, Parents, teachers, social workers, community leaders, therapists, working with the next generation - contact Kay and ask for details or check out:

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Applying NLP to Self

by James Seetoo

Many times I've come people who say they "Use NLP on their clients successfully but it doesn't work for that person". Usually they've studied NLP through an online course or by books written by people who write about techniques. They usually try to run themselves through various techniques but it's definitely hard to be fully associated while trying to remember a process.

So maybe it's time to simplify things a bit when we want to use NLP with ourselves. And notice I say with ourselves because rather than on ourselves. I think the idea that we're using skills "on" others actually creates resistance in the people we're working with. When we lead others through processes we're leading them to the results we want them to have rather than imposing solutions.

First, are the outcomes you want well formed? If not, that's the first obstacle you're facing. Once you've got that taken care of, notice the pictures you're making and play with your submodalities. What happens when you make them bigger, smaller, add or subtract color and movement. Try putting a border around the picture or taking it off. Once you've warmed up with that, you can associate or disassociate with the picture. Notice how you're speaking to yourself. What kind of modal operators are you using? What kind of tonality? Are you using your voice or someone else's? Change those and notice how your feelings change.

Rather than using full interventions, you can make incremental adjustments with yourself and change the way you're experiencing the world.

Give it a GO!!

©2018 James Seetoo

James Seetoo is an NLP Trainer/NLP Coaching Trainer and the author of the Best Selling Book, "The 5 Keys To Hypnotic Selling". He recently completed a sales training for a company resulting in a $1M revenue increase for the company and is working on his second book. He is available for trainings and coaching.

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