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|2. A PUBLICIST DOES MORE THAN LAND MEDIA - Joanne McCall|
|3. USING NLP TO ELIMINATE OCD - Pam Castillo|
|4. WHERE CAN I FIND WHAT ELSE IS HAPPENING?|
|5. SO, WHAT'S COMING UP?|
John La Valle
ONE OF OUR READERS had emailed me asking me about detecting, identifying, & working with "submodalities" and whether you have to go meta, or to another perceptual position to do this. While I could easily have answered him, I thought it a good topic for this month. That, and adding its use in sales & marketing, would give us lots of things to cover.
FOR THOSE READERS who may be unfamiliar with "submodalities", here's a brief explanation:
OUR BRAINS INPUT, process and output based on our five senses, or modalities: see, hear, feel (both emotional and visceral), smell and taste. Each of the modalities has other parts, hence "sub". For example, visual includes: is it in color or black & white?; is it a movie or a still shot?, etc. Auditory include: the volume; tone, pitch, etc.
ONE OF THE MORE INTERESTING points here, although not overtly obvious is the distinction between *experiencing* and *intellectualizing*. I have looked at 2 sources for the following definitions at http://www.dictionary.com and in Webster's New World Dictionary:
1. To furnish a rational structure or meaning for.
2. To avoid psychological insight into (an emotional problem) by performing an intellectual analysis.
SO, TO ANSWER THE QUESTION ABOVE, in many cases, it's *sometimes* necessary to go to a meta-position to detect, identify and work with submodalities, but this is highly dependent on your skill level at detecting, identifying and working with. It is not always necessary to go to another position to do any of the three, but that's not what's best for this discussion here because there's more to it that's more useful for our application.
WHAT IS IMPORTANT HERE IS how you can use these perceptual positions (states) in your sales and marketing. I've seen so many articles about how important the words are, but most of these articles only scratch the surface, so to speak. When you are selling and/marketing your products and/or services, one of the most important things is to have your customer, or potential customer, *feel* especially good (that's the emotional part) about you and/or your product.
NOW, IF YOU GO ON AND ON, and *explain* the experience to them, much like I'm doing here, they will not necessarily have the feelings you want them to have. It's much akin to the difference between thinking about racing downhill at 80 miles per hour and racing downhill at 80 miles per hour. And the only difference, really, is the one of *perspective* -- the one you provide.
ANOTHER DISTINCTION TO MAKE IS the one about which referential index to use -- I or you. Well, while this is also important, remember that "all communication is hypnosis" and the real issue is whether or not your readers will take that ride with you, even if it's yours. Can you get them excited enough using some I's and me's and some you's? That's what's going to make the difference. Using too many I's and we's will seem self serving, and too many you's may violate their rules against mind reading or patronizing.
WHEN I FIRST DECIDED TO PUBLISH this newsletter it was because I had so many people emailing me with the same types of questions and I found myself writing back and giving the same types of responses. And so I thought, "Hey, why not publish a newsletter? That way I can answer questions out there, and even get information out to many of the people who may not ask the questions, even though they have them. That would serve a few other purposes, then, wouldn't it?"
MY FIRST NEWSLETTER WAS, WELL intimidating to start with. Would they like it? Would they criticize it? Would they read it? How would I know if they like it? What if I say the wrong thing? And so many other ridiculous questions that just kept popping up. But then I thought, "Hey, what's the difference?" I mean, have you read some of the other stuff that's out there? Really! What's the worst that could happen? That someone emails me and says it sucks? Well, that has certainly happened. But the two or three we've gotten over the years are minuscule compared to the so many great complements we've gotten, and the thanks, and so on and so on. And then I remembered my own criteria for knowing if we are doing well, or not: "Are they telling others?" Are subscriptions increasing, and what's the unsubscribe rate compared to the subscribe rate.
WE HAVE DONE EXTREMELY WELL we've learned to listen through the years and because we have kept our promise and our schedule. It's really quite simple to do a monthly newsletter: once a month, so that you never run out of material, just often enough to maintain that presence and keep the ideas flowing amongst others. We get ideas from the people who send us questions, from our daily business activities, and from being able to laugh at the news out there. That's right, the news, high comedy!
WELL I'M HERE TO TELL YOU, our subscription rate has been steady each and every week! We must be doing something right! Now every now and then, we make a mistake, but you know what? We chalk that up to experience! And we've had lots of those experiences! But it's no different than taking a chance: a trance for success!
There is nothing like just putting yourself out there, taking that risk, wondering and worrying, then discovering that there are so many people out there with so many perspectives, that opportunities abound and they're FREE!! Are you ready to share in the success just waiting for YOU?
WHICH DO YOU PREFER and WHEN and for which reasons?
©2019 John La Valle
by Joanne McCall
What you Must have in Place BEFORE you Seek a Publicist
To say our world is changing quickly is cliché.
In fact, quick change is the new norm, so we must be willing
to learn new things and change quickly too.
What are they?
Before you approach media or do any of your
own content generation regarding your book, you must address
Definition: Taking your book and its message
into the market place and describing it in such a way that
it is quickly understood and compels your market, both media
and direct readers, to want to review you, talk to you,
and/or buy your book. This is the critical first step to
any campaign you want to develop.
Ask this question:
"What is unique about me and my book?"
What are you saying that no one else is saying? What comparisons
would you use to describe your book and your key messages?
How are you different?
Joanne McCall can get you known! Get your questions answered on visibility, publicity, marketing, and media training, at her complimentary Q&A calls every second and fourth Tuesdays of the month. Click the link to opt in and she will send you all the juicy details.
Joanne McCall works with authors to help them become Media Darlings and gets the media to call them. Her secret sauce is helping authors, speakers, coaches and entrepreneurs position themselves and their books, deliver fantastic interviews, and capture media attention through the various media channels now available. On a first-name basis with hundreds of top-rung producers, editors, writers, and journalists, she secures coverage for clients including Brian Tracy, Ken Blanchard, Dave Ramsey, Andrea Lee, Mark Babbitt, Shawn Murphy, The Deepak Chopra Center for Wellbeing, and the co-creator of NLP, Dr. Richard Bandler. Her Media Positioning Consultations help authors to become Media Darlings.
Thinking on Purpose is an indispensable guide to anyone
who wants to make changes in their life. Most people dont really
think. They remember.
Available at Amazon, Apple, Kobo, B&N on March 1st 2019. Available in your local book stores today
Dr. Richard Bandler, Owen Fitzpatrick and Dr. Glenda Bradstock
by Pam Castillo
I had the
father of a 26 year old,
write to me to see if
I could help his daughter
who has been diagnosed
with "severe OCD,
since she was 8 years
old". 18 YEARS!
I invited them both over for a cup of tea to chat about what NLP is, what is not, and to observe them both and give the young woman a chance to connect with me and see if she wanted to make the changes in her life to eliminate her symptoms if it was possible. The young woman explained that she washed her hands in excess of 100 times a day to the point where her knuckles bled from the cracking and dryness this caused to her skin. She expressed a few other less severe problems as well but the hand washing was what she considered her biggest obstacle in life. She was a very intelligent person.
When they came for a brief meet and greet, the young woman, expressed that she was fearful of "treatment" since she'd been to many psychologists and psychiatrists over the years without results and she didn't want to get her hopes up any more. I observed the father's attempts to control and maneuver the conversation. I told her to think it over and that she would know if this were the right step to take and to contact me when she was ready to make an appointment. About 3 weeks went by and she contacted me for an appointment. This was an important step in the change process for her to take control of her own processes. Step one!
When she arrived for the appointment, having driven more than 2 hours to see me, she was anxious and told me she didn't know what to expect. Very quickly we were laughing about the L.A. freeway system and different types of drivers and she began to relax a bit. I began to question her about HOW she knew it was time to wash her hands. It took a bit of guiding to get her to answer my specific elicitation questions until she said: "I say to myself, 'your hands are dirty, go wash your hands and get them clean'".
I asked her who's voice was saying that? She discovered it was her own voice. I saw her listen to check it and she said, "Yes, it's my voice".
I asked her what kind of tone of voice she uses and she said: "Well, I call it my OCD voice" and I asked her to teach me her OCD voice and she responded the following in sharp, quick, loud tones: "IT'S VERY CONFIDENT, VERY DIRECT AND URGENT and I say "YOUR HANDS ARE DIRTY, GO AND WASH THEM AND GET THEM CLEAN! in that tone".
I widened my eyes and told her "WOW what great leadership abilities you have, you should congratulate yourself". She looked puzzled and asked me what I meant. I said, "Well, if someone spoke to you that way - VERY CONFIDENT, VERY DIRECT and URGENT and said: "YOUR HANDS ARE DIRTY, GO AND WASH THEM AND GET THEM CLEAN", wouldn't you know exactly what to do from that?" She laughed and said "I guess so".
I told her the good news is that she was just misinforming herself about the facts and however that started didn't matter any more and that the OCD voice was going to be very useful to her in new ways now. She comprehended what I meant immediately. So I led her to get some clarity about her cleanliness standards to really know when hand washing was appropriate and when her hands were in fact, clean enough and then to simply use her OCD voice to communicate accurately and honestly because we know it already works perfectly well. The new phrase she came up with using the OCD voice was: "I am comfortable that my hands are clean enough and I have other things I'm going to do now instead". We future paced this and spent the rest of the session talking about what she was going to do instead now that she's going to have so much more time available to do other things. We actually calculated about how many hours a month/year she used up with "that old hand washing thing" and with so much time now wide open she began to talk about wanting to go back to school, finish her undergraduate classes and apply to med school.
I made an appointment for her to return so we could make a few more changes in other areas. In the follow up appointment, she told me she had totally stopped washing her hands except for the appropriate times by her standards which were all quite normal things such as after using the restroom et al.
She expressed being on friendly terms with her OCD voice now, and using it to do things she actually wants to do, rather than things she does't want and that never occurred to her before and it made so much sense to her. And most importantly, it was working. It's now been about 16 weeks since the initial appointment and the client reports no OCD hand washing.. I'm paraphrasing the process I used and it's perhaps a slight oversimplification, but not by much. And what has never ceased to amaze me with NLP is how people will tell you exactly HOW they have their problem and most of time, therein lies the biggest clue of how to change it with a little creativity. Very often, I like to use the very process that's been working to get the wrong outcome and turn it around and use it to defeat the problem. After all, we know it works, right?! Milton Erickson was great at this. My favorite Erickson book on that is Milton H. Erickson, An American Healer.
The other issues that needed some change/tweeking were to learn to set some well form goals for her future, and to amp up her sense of self control in other areas. In the second session, I taught her about well formed goals, had her write out 10 new well formed goals and write the first 2 action steps to achieving each of them. For the lack of control she had been feeling with her family, I had her draw a control panel, installed it and sent her on her way to play with it. She says her family dynamics have shifted appreciably and they are all working together now without argument. She found her boundaries and is expressing them to others in a comfortable and compassionate way to everyone's delight. Her dad is saving up his money to take my NLP Practitioner course because of quick and profound changes he has seen in his daughter. I heard from my client that she has enrolled back in college for the fall semester and has rediscovered her passion for reading and is looking forward to medical school.
18 years of thinking she had OCD, medications with a host of side effects - not the least of which were fatigue, lack of focus and sleepiness has all changed in about 4-6 hours of time spread over 2 appointments. Now, I can't say whether she really had OCD or she just had a slight miscommunication to herself, that discovering the sub-modalities of tonality and using them in new ways simply made a more clear communication for a completely different outcome.
I have my
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