Download this NLP Hot Tips Newsletter Here in PDF Format
Did someone you know send you this and you want to subscribe? Go ahead . . . It's FREE!!
|2. NLP COACHING FOR RESILIENCE - Kay Cooke|
|3. ANSWERING THE CALL - John G. Johnson|
|4. WHERE CAN I FIND WHAT ELSE IS HAPPENING?|
|5. SO, WHAT'S COMING UP?|
John La Valle
For years I've been telling people that if they're working harder than their clients or customers, then they are doing something wrong! Now, since this means they ought to take a look at what they're doing and how, I like to start before where most people think any strategy starts. Even in your own decision making, there are places to check for what you're sorting for, especially when choosing who you want as customers. That's right, too many people throw out the net and try catch as many as they can. And if you prescribe to the Pareto Principal at all, then you know that 80% of your business comes from 20% of your customers, and that you spend most of your time with the other 80% who either don't give you business, or very little.
The best sales people have something very special that they do: they *decide* if the relationship is right! While many people think that "closing" the sale is where it's at, I can tell you from my own experience that it's not! In today's market, it's about *Relationship Management*. It has been all along, but it's even more important today than ever. The internet has changed the world dramatically! People, like me, like you, are inundated daily with information, offers, opportunities, etc. And this has caused a shift in the Meta Program Sequencing of many, many people. Because of the *stack overload* of the information, I find that many people now are filtering their email, hence their input, based on *who* is sending it, as a primary sort. This tells me a lot about the value of relationships! And it may also have crossed over into the context of regular junk snail mail, or perhaps that's where it started. At any rate, the information isn't enough, anymore.
So, how best to manage the relationship of selling? Similar to your other relationships, if you have a good strategy for that. Who do you want to do business with? Of course you'd want them to have a need or desire for your product or service, but what about your other criteria? Do you really want to do business with everyone? Aren't there some customers you already have that are more work than return? Even with our seminars, there are people we turn away, for their good, as well as ours.
Think about who your potential customers are and let's assume they have a need or desire for what you have to offer.
Here are some questions worth asking yourself about them, or of them, even, although you'll want to change some of the questions a bit:
When you can detect these, it puts *You* into a position deciding whether or not *You* want them as a customer! And that then changes your selling strategy, doesn't it!
©2018 John La Valle
Check This Out:
Filled with advice on getting things done, confidence, self esteem, motivation, focus, feeling and looking great and doing whatever it takes to help you improve your life, The Best You is an antidote to bad news and feeling stuck in life.
What's more, this is far more than a magazine. Contains video interviews with celebrities and big names, who share their advice, their experience and their observations on life. Just click through to watch the interviews - which gave yet more advice and tips.
In all, The Best You is a smart, multimedia experience that will inspire, inform and entertain all at once - and guide you to become
by Kay Cooke
We initially chatted about the difference between bully and bitch to loosen Mias thinking, to clarify differences, and have her dissociate from the previous bullying experience.
I asked her what she perceived the problem
Q: OK and whats the worst thing about
that for you?
Q: How have you been coping with this so far?
From this brief exchange, Im now focusing in
on three aspects of the Mias perception of the problem:
We began by challenging the generalisation: no one will talk to me
Q: Whats the probability that this will actually
happen that your friends will actually stop speaking to you
because of Bs influence?
Q: Which leaves an 80% chance that this wont
Q: How many friends in your friendship group?
Q: And of the 20 friends, how many might actually
stop talking to you?
Q: And how many would never stop talking to you?
Q: How long do you think it would take for you to
disprove the rumours?
Q: There is a 20% chance that 25% of your friends
will stop talking to you, unless you spend one week disproving the
rumours spread by B?
Q: So you have 20 friends 5 of whom you really
trust, 5 who you dont trust and 10 who you moderately trust?
Having chunked down into some detail to dispel the
overwhelming notion that she would have no one speak to her,
we then began looking at the distortion of meaning.
Im afraid no one will talk to me because
This is a problem because
I shared some stories with Mia, about when my kids were little and having done something naughty, they would often give the deed away by telling me what they hadnt done and therefore drawing my attention towards the very thing itself.
I asked her to explore the difference between defending herself (which presupposes there is something to defend) and gathering more information through genuine enquiry by asking questions like really you think I said that???? When exactly? Where specifically?
We also explored the Shakespeare quote the lady doth protest too much.
I invited her to contemplate the words I have nothing to prove.
I drew 2 figures on the white board.
Bs strategy was to try to influence the
friendship group (against Mia)
NLP Milton Model Sub modality/parts/squash:
She revealed a new set of sub modalities balanced
in both hands.
What would you do in my situation? she
We referred to neuroscience and simple mechanisms of stress that involve fight/flight/freeze OR she could FLOW in resilience.
We practised again the one point exercise
to centre, balance and feel strong from the inside out.
Mia immersed herself in a big mind stretch to facilitate stronger feelings of self confidence, more choice of behavioural strategies, new attitude of grace and authenticity, and a choice not to engage with, or mirror, Bs battle strategy.
Mia is 13 years old.
Playground based thoughts, feelings and behaviours are really not so different to those found in the workplace. Age may make problems more complex, less honest, more accomplished. The processes rarely change.
©2016-2018 Kay Cooke
by John G. Johnson
Stephen rightfully took advantage on his masters Degree in Civil-Engineering to build an outstanding career. He also had an insatiable appetite for the arts, mostly live-events and movies, which he often referenced in an analogous manner to get his point across whenever we spoke, making him an interesting person to me. In one of our conversations he said, I want to be a writer. But I always get panic attacks whenever I start a lengthy writing assignment. What Stephen said seemed odd; but, I thought about it and realized it wasnt. Because nothing is what it seems when trekking through the land of ones subjective experience; yet, everything works the way its supposed to. Yes, a contradiction. Such is life, right?
Stephens statement had a generalization begging to be tested. One way I did that was to ask him how did he ever get through college, because its a given that students will have lengthy assignments to complete. Ok. Let me back up and clarify what I mean, Steven responded. It turned out that he could handle academic writing and career-related writing assignments. The problem resided in his attempts at personal essays, or any forms of extensive creative writing. Thats an entirely different problem, one thats specific, and brings the issue into focus. Having clarity about a situation is like standing right in its center. Its a useful starting point of ones journey, and Stephen was on his way.
Stephen searched the web for a solution to his panic attacks, attended numerous writing lectures and workshops, spoke with creative-writing professors and friends. But all attempts failed (Or so he thought). The more activities Stephen partook in and believed he failed, the more he constructed disempowering beliefs about his ability to creatively write.
But something else Stephen said intrigued me: Peoples responses were condescending whenever I described my panic attack to them
I couldnt help but ask... Ok. Describe your panic attack to me,
Using gestures and vivid submodality language, Stephen did; his description and expressions were rich, nuanced, teetering on the point of being hypnotic. No wonder you want to be a writer, I teased. To the untrained ear and eye, Stephens description of his panic attack can sound and look, lets just say, weird. But it wasnt.
I concluded that Stephen needed several things. The first was education. He had to learn that how each of us inputs the world through the five senses and re-expresses it using sensory rich submodality language - is subjectively unique and valid, and how he described his experience to others was perfectly fine. We also worked on tuning up his eyes and ears. This allowed Stephen to appreciate the submodality-rich world of others, which he found enlightening.
Moving backwards on Stephens timeline, to the primary point he first experienced what he called a panic attack, then reframing it, as well the other successive moments (as we returned to back the present), was another activity we did. To construct the reframes I held two things in mind: The NLP tenet, failure vs. feedback, and Stephens love of the arts, specifically live events and movies. This combination, along with a little submodality education impacted him profoundly.
Your panic attacks are just a Call & Response, a Call to discover the better nature of yourself. Now you are aware of the richness of subjective experience, yours, and the power of its expression. Improv actors thrive on first accepting the Call of the moment and then Responding that particular manner, and in the moment, giving birth to a dynamic routine , You know this of characters from the many movies and plays youve seen ignoring the Call only to then answer it with a Response, which, in truth, is a journey, really. One that uncovers the power that already resides within this discovery the ancient Greek writers called anagnorisis, a deep discovery of knowledge knowledge of the self .a revelation that can only be borne from the journey you undertook in search of from hearing the Call. And I wonder what it is that you have already learned from that journey, looking at things from this newfound vantage point, that you can now rightly use to creatively write in your way?
The overall arching take away from working with Stephen also reminded me of another NLP tenet, which is that we all have the resources to affect change. And its how we interpret, reframe and organize them (resources) to push us in the direct we want to go. The mode we use to express ourselves, the way we choose to live our lives is our right.
©2016 John G. Johnson
This has got to be one of the best programs ever!!
I use it to access my emails from my PC in my office while traveling.
It sure saves me lots of time downloading through my office online
than through some connection in a hotel!! And if I forget to bring
a file with me in my laptop? Easy, I just use GoToMyPC
to fetch it from my office.
NLP Bandler® Products:
Plus These Most Favorites:
Magick & Change - Richard Bandler - John La Valle
- 2 CD set